An Operating Guide to the Army Of Darkness
and Neighbor of the Beast Endurance Teams (2001)
Racing is hard on the little things....
Hardware: System Requirements
- Traxxion forks and shock. .90 spring in left fork leg, .95 in right fork leg. Axxion valves, presumably oil. 400 lb rear spring and lots of ride height.
- Little neoprene boots (which Max disapproves of) to keep the forks seals from blowing every five minutes like they
- M4 stainless steel racing high-pipe with crash resistant aluminum canister.
- Epoxy based fiberglass bodywork with comfort providing Zero Gravity double bubble windshield.
- AOD designed and built bodywork fasteners.
- Drack gold data logger with sensors for RPM, Speed, Exhaust Gas Temperature (EGT), and Throttle Position.
Rider’s have declined to wear the optional "sphincter tensionometer".
- Sprocket Specialist 520 sprockets (Aluminum rear, steel front) with strong o-ring chain. Chains tend to last about 30 hours of track time with regular maintenance.
- Power Commander (although dyno tests are inconclusive. We see no gains on the dyno, although we can make it worse)
- Adjustable steering damper replaces stock mono setting unit. Stock damper placement is finally positioned low
and in the front.
- Clip-ons with quick change bars. The same ones we have been using for five years. Fisher Technical cross hatched the bars so the throttle housing doesn’t twist on the bar.
- Michelin Slicks. Various compounds and carcass depending on the track conditions, temperature and how much the rider’s are whining. Fronts last forever, rears go anywhere from 1 to 3 hours.
- Brakes are upgraded with Vesrah RJL pads, stainless steel lines and high temp fluid. The fluid needs to be changed regularly to avoid mush. RJL pads last a long time but we tend to replace them every race just to freshen up the bite.
- Solid mounted pegs bolted to stock mounts. We are avoiding billet rear sets in the hopes that a hard crash will break the footpeg mount and spare the frame lugs.
- Shortened sub-frame to reduce torque on main frame in the event of a crash.
- Quick change wheels allow for both wheels to be swapped in under thirty seconds.
- Aluminum rear rotor and soft organic pads. The rear rotors get plated with rubber during the course of the race and stop working anyway.
- Eric Wallgren’s unholy union of a TLR and GSXR gas tank. So smooth you can’t find the seam with your finger nail. Fitted with dual dry breaks the tank can take 7.5 gallons in about eight seconds.
- Engine is basically stock. Fixed the bolt in the transmission. Some smoothing on the ports and that sort of thing. The new engine construction is lighter but it is more difficult to modify, so we left it all alone.
- Shiny paint is new for 2001 courtesy Eric Wallgren who found the time to spray it.
- Hard case covers and frame sliders. Hope springs eternal.
- Contingency stickers. This is the only real money in racing for most people.
- Levers are strategically drilled to leave a usable stub after contact with Scott Harwell.
- Propylene glycol based coolant so everyone and their brother can come over and accuse us of running ethylene glycol.
Software: AOD/NOTB Operating Systems
Cover: Obvious front as a hack writer for Roadracing World, true occupation unknown.
Position: Minister of Information and Logistics, AOD Pilot
Broken: Both feet.
Fleming has ruthlessly commanded AOD since 1993. He recruits new members through flattery and promises of "fun" at the race track then blackmails them into staying with the team with the threat of publishing "drooling in the back of the van" pictures in RW. Tends to get overly excited by the appearance of goldfinches (carduus tristus) in his backyard.
Position: Minister of Scrounging, AOD Pilot
Broken: Neck, Back
Williams’ role seems to be to generally demoralize competitors by passing them on the track then slapping his belly in the pits while proclaiming about the athletic conditioning needed for endurance racing. Currently trying to adapt his cell phone to his race helmet.
Position: Minister of Profanity and Tool Tossing, NOTB Pilot
Broken: A little bump on her shin
Berkoff was brought into the team to shame everyone else into working harder while she tirelessly maintains, rides and repairs race bikes without ever breaking a sweat. Formally trained as a mechanic, her personal revulsion at working on any bike older than five years forced her to change career paths. Authored the self-help book "Every Bad Habit I Have Racing Motorcycles I Learned At Willow Springs".
Position: Minister of Lead Generation, AOD Pilot
Broken: left ankle, right ankle (x 3), right foot, both arms, lacerated kidney (obviously cares way too much)
Stokes was recruited into AOD for 2001 for his agreeable personality, ample riding skills and deep fear of crashing other people’s motorcycles. Easily distinguished in the AOD pits by his bright attire, it is feared that long-term exposure to AOD will corrupt this fresh faced and promising racer. Becomes a father in September, continued husband status is yet to be determined.
Cover: Fisher Technical Services (fishertechnical.com)
Position: Minister of Overengineering, NOTB pilot
Broken: Shattered left heel, Cracked L5/L6 vertebrae, Torn ACL & meniscus cartilage, knee laceration & patella bursa removal
Fisher’s innate endurance racing ability was cleverly disguised under a Hawk racer facade in the Southwestern desert. His engineering skills and ability to function on three hours of sleep a day bring about such things as the NOTB Quick Fill Mark III and statements like "We can run the 24-hour with two riders." He is currently investing heavily in cloning technology so he can be three places at once.
Cover: Smithsonian Institute
Position: Minister of Research
Broken: broken collarbone, concussion
AOD can race with different bikes. AOD can race with different riders. AOD cannot race without Gooding. Gooding is the master designer, fabricator and tireless troubleshooter. Has mastered the art of the querulous look that withers ridiculous requests on contact and keeps everyone’s reality in check. Gooding’s tool box has a sticker with "The captain who waits for his ship to be fit never sets to sea." Demands a full wallet or expensive watch left as collateral for any loaned tool at the track.
Nolan "Three Fingers" Ballew
Cover: UMD Plasma Physics Lab
Position: Minister of Fuel and Traction
Broken: broken hand, bruised shoulder, clicking elbow.
AOD recruited Ballew by exploiting two of his known weaknesses: powerful diesel vans and quality food. Ballew extends the duration of Fleming’s grasp of sanity on race day by ensuring that the dump cans have fuel, the rims have tires, and the tires have warmers all while mentally plotting the step to machine the next trick bit for the bikes out of 6061 aluminum. Ballew is the graphite control rod in the fission reaction of the team.
And... AOD HQ is rounded out with help from various parties including Eric Balderston (lifts heavy objects cheerfully, actually, does everything cheerfully), Eric Wallgren (yet another fabricator, Eric does the tricky sheet metal and paint work for us) and John Godfrey (who doesn’t mind inhaling fiberglass dust).